There’s this girl you’ve had on eye on for quite some time. Maybe she’s a fellow classmate, you are mutual friends, or (if you’re an idiot), she’s your bitchin’ hot coworker (I’m so glad I work at a place where most of the women are fat and ugly, I can focus!). Of course, because she is the only girl you have ANY interest in (after all, she’s SPECIAL), you naturally stalk her Facebook. Multiple times a day. Right when you wake up. On your lunch break. Right before you go to bed so you can smile and think about how it’s all going to work out someday, while feverishly getting a workout with your right hand.
Tomorrow, after you’ve let this sink in; you’ll once again go to stalk her page. OMG SHE HAS A NEW PROFILE PICTURE. You are mesmerized and immediately ‘Like’ the photo, thinking this is your in with her. Once she sees that you appreciate her beauty, which of course will last forever, she’ll run into your arms.
…until you see that 87 other people liked the same photo.
And hence, lies the problem with today’s society. It kills me and makes my life of having sex with hot girls more difficult. Why? CONSTANT EGO FEEDING. Think about it, guys. How many people like your photos/status? I think I got 85 people to like one of my statuses once, which was announcing that I had gotten my dream job after graduating college. It was a big deal. Hot girls, hell, even average girls routinely get numbers like that liking every profile picture and status they post. Every post about retarded things too, like, “OMG new gym clothes!!!” as they take a picture in their bathroom mirror. Their bathroom, gents, you know, the place they also take massive shits after indulging in too much booze and greasy Mexican food on a Friday night.
The problem is that when there’s 100s of chumps liking these photos and statuses, it simply feeds the ego. Girls begin to think that they’re hotter, more desirable, and can do better. All of a sudden, mediocre looking girls think they’re princesses and deserve an Armani suited-six pack rocking-six figure making-Ferrari driving stud. And why shouldn’t they? If you had 100 girls liking your photos (and then dozens of comments) and saying you’re hot/sexy/studly/masculine, then your ego would be way out of proportion, too. I mean, look at ME! 😉
So realize, that the next time you’re ready to click ‘Like’ on that photo…it’s not doing you an ounce of good. Unless of course, you want to blend in with the dozens of other guys doing the same thing. You know what would be more effective?
4.) “Have you gained weight?”
Anything but yet another like.