Is building a wall the easy way out?

It’s hard to write this post.  It’s almost like admitting defeat, in a way.  Being a challenge, being mysterious, playing hard to get.  Whether I like it or not, it’s a bit like putting up a wall.  I suppose  I feel like the longer I keep someone outside of the wall, the more successful the relationship will be.  It goes hand in hand with the aforementioned attitude, which seems far and beyond the best way to have successful interactions with girls.

However, the success that is bred from that attitude has a downfall.  My own fear.

Fear of letting someone deep into my life.  Fear to potentially rest the fate of (some) of my own happiness in someone else’s hands.  Fear to let someone love me.

Love, does it exist?  In today’s magical Disneyland of sitcoms and romantic comedies, of course it does.  I’m still not entirely convinced.

I believe that success, happiness, and satisfaction derives from conquering things in life as a man.  Whether that be completing an Ironman, banging lots of girls, starting a business, or being promoted, we all have things we are working for to attempt to generate personal happiness.  It’s not supposed to be easy, in fact, it should be anything but easy.  You take for granted the things that are easy in life.  Those aren’t the things worth fighting for.

So, I guess what I’m getting at is, am I cheating myself?  Am I taking the easy way out by putting up a wall and not letting anyone into that?  Sure, it gets me laid a lot.  Sure, it’s the definite way to prevent heartbreak.  But am I holding myself back from something better?  Something deeper and more meaningful?  Perhaps letting someone past the wall is my own personal challenge.  The next challenge to conquer for me.  If it’s not easy, it’s simply not worth doing it.



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