The Dishes Shit Test

Danny from 504 has a ton of great articles about various recipes, how to cook for girls, and even gives a great date model for the home-cooked meal for a special lady.  Seriously guys, if you need some new recipe ideas, check out the food porn section of his site.  Cooking and mixing drinks are two skills any guy should have, hands-down.  It’s easy, fun, and it’s a panty-droper.  Anyways, I’ve been using a part of his date model for quite a while now:

enjoy her company and when finished (this is where YOU SHIT TEST HER) take your plates and start doing the dishes. i ALWAYS say, “sorry, i have a thing where i need to do dishes right away. if i don’t they NEVER get done.” if she help you clean the dished WITHOUT your asking… more than likely have a keeper. if she offers it’s your call…but i’ll usually shrug my shoulders and say, “it’s up to you, you ARE a guest.” again…if she HELPS OUT… points. if she doesn’t help you after she mentions it (she’ll lose some, but not too many  points with me) if she FLAT OUT says or does nothing to help you clean DUMP HER. by dump i mean…she’s probably a very self-centered woman, and probably very selfish. go ahead and sleep with her, but offer NO COMMITMENT.


Honestly, this is a huge deal for me.  A girl who fails this test is never going to see me again.  Maybe it’s just how girls are, but I’m appalled that I’m very, very rarely offered help in this regard.  The girl from this post?  Didn’t offer.  The annoying girl with purple hair?  Nope.  I’m not even sure my former oneitis offered, in hindsight.

Here’s what bothers me the most.  I invite these young ladies over to my place for dinner.  I am hosting them, feeding them, and making them drinks with nice alcohol, usually.  Typically, if anyone invites me to dinner, upon accepting, I ask, “Can I bring anything?”  This goes from going over to barbeque with the guys to dates when girls cook for me.  Even if they decline, prior to heading over for the meal, I usually shoot off a text, “Last chance, need anything for dinner?”  Sometimes, I bring some beer or wine without even being asked.  I just want to contribute and be a good guy.  Since I really started going on my dating spree this year, I’ve cooked for probably a dozen girls at this point.  Know how many have offered to bring anything over?


How selfish is that?  It’s pathetic.  Everyone tells me that foreign girls are much less selfish than Americans, and as much as I’d like to argue, the evidence really is not helping my argument.  Time after time again, these American girls I’m dating are just showing that they’re self-centered cunts.  Back on topic, here are how my home dinner dates go down:

  1. She comes over, I give her a tour of the apartment complex, walk her by the pool, hot tub, etc.
  2. Bring her upstairs, quick tour of my place, make some drinks.  Usually it’s nice vodka/rum/wine/champagne, etc.
  3. I sit with her on the couch for a bit and talk, then get up and start cooking.
  4. I cook.  Usually I go with my great grandma’s spaghetti recipe, homemade pizza, or tacos.
  5. Then hand her a plate.  A lot of girls expect you to serve them, too (seriously, are you 5?).  Personally, I don’t serve them because I don’t like people to serve me, sometimes I like to do things in a particular way.
  6. After eating (they always seem to make a mess, no joke), I pull Danny’s dishes routine.

Let me lay this out.  I invite these girls over to my well-kept, nice apartment.  I make them drinks with nice, quality liquor.  I make her a guest, cook her a meal from scratch, and she can’t offer to help with washing a couple of plates?

Major red flag.  I follow Danny’s advice – I’ll try to fuck them, but never contact them again.

Girls are terrible.  Yeah, yeah, I know you’re “not all” like that.  I should probably just officially become a misogynist.

Read More: How To Really Respond to a Girl

25 responses to “The Dishes Shit Test

  1. I’m sure there are nice girls who do the dishes without asking. I feel bad if I don’t clean entire kitchen after someone cooks for me. But I usually do the cooking and cleaning anyway so.
    Good luck finding them.

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  4. Don’t lose hope. I live in South Korea, where I haven’t had to do dishes after cooking for a girl in more than three years. I don’t ask them to either, the girls just seem to know what’s expected after I invite them over and cook.

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